he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Randomize
