I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Randomize
