do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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