If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
Randomize
