lets start a swedish sibling band together
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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