once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
