Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
