i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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