Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
