I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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