I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize