Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
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