I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
