porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
