mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Randomize
