At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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