is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Randomize
