nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Randomize
