Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
Randomize
