Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
