Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
