the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
