Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
