Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
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