So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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