And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize