Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Are my feet made of real feet?
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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