i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize