FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
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