what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
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