He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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