Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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