talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Terrible idea I love it
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
