they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
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