That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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