There is no way he is gay with that hair.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
