Soap is not a condiment
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
