i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize