Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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