I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
