i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
