this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Acid is not a monday night drug
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
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