Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
