Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Randomize
