Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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