Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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