everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Randomize
