the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
