soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
