dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
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