I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
