hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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