haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Randomize
