What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Randomize
