omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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