this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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