Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
