erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Randomize
