After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
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