I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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