rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
should my penis look like a turkey
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
