dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
