arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
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