I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
No stitches, just platelets and will power
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
