It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
be right there i have to get my cape
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
