Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
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