I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Do you have feelings for this penis?
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Randomize
