Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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