Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Dignity is for republicans.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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