that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
