so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
